American Carpenter in Wroclaw

 Warning: Most of my posts contain some foul language, and at times my sentiments that by most would be considered "Anti-American"  As we say in America- America love it or leave it. The same holds true for my personal blog-site.

I am an American Carpenter in Wrocław, Poland. I am self-employed. I frame wood framed custom homes for Poles that want an alternative to "traditional" housing. In Poland, the developers build big, expensive, concrete bunker type homes, with steep roofs like a church. They call it "traditional" housing. This is a problem in Poland as the average Pole will never afford to build these homes. The result is that only the wealthy can afford to build in Poland. The developers in Poland like things the way they are as they feel they can make the most money from this situation and just call it "tradition". With all those millions of people stuck in those awful "russian style apartments", they don't offer any alternatives. And this is the problem with housing in Poland.

The last home I framed is very amusing to me. It was for an Architect in Wrocław. This guy has been drawing up these expensive concrete bunkers, with steep, expensive roofs, for 10 years on his auto-cad. However, he would never live in a home like that. He hired me to frame a cozy, affordable, North American style home for him to live in.

Don't get me wrong, I love this country. As frustrating as the mentality of homebuilding is to me, I am here to offer an alternative to what is available (tradition). Perhaps if we in America had Hitler invade us, then Stalin occupy us for 45 years we would have the same concrete bunkers being built there also. We frame with wood becuase it is warm, cozy, and cost effective. And becuase we never had tanks roll through the nation blowing things up. In Croatia, they even frame the roof rafters with concrete instead of wood. Thanks to Serbia and the war they waged.

I love my Polish wife. She lived with me in Denver, Colorado for ten years and hated every second of life in America. I have agreed to put in ten years in Europe now. To be honest with you, I don't miss America at all. Life as a Carpenter in Poland is hard and the market for what I do is so tiny, I barley get by. But life as a Carpenter in America is harder. Atleast here I don't have to compete with millions of Mexican illegal alien Carpenters working a trade for $8 per hour. The trade used to pay $20 to $35 per hour in the 1990's. Thanks to Pres. Bush and his ass of a father,  it now pays around $8.00 per hour. Mind you I had to go through an intense 4 year apprenticeship just like any college education program to call myself a Master Carpenter. So, as hard as it is for me here, I prefer life in Europe. In America we have a saying.... AMERICA, LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT. I chose to leave it .

Sometimes when life gets really hard here, I think of packing up and moving to Norway or some other more sensible area to apply my trade. And then along comes another Polish investor, sick and tired of "tradition". Then I get another custom wood framed home to build in Poland. (32 so far )

2009-01-13

Ok, this blogging thing is like crack cocaine. I can't stop. All these years of bottled up opinions and at times frustration, are gonna come out. I am really liking this. Spell check, where's the spell check on this thing? Ah screw it. I'm a carpenter not a writer.

These past few days I've been invading and harrasing an interactive blog-site called the Polandians. These are a bunch of Brits. Very funny stuff, I love reading then adding my dumb ass American comments at the bottom of each blog. I'm sure they can't stand me, but isn't that the point of blogging? To annoy those who are easily annoyed? And to inform or entertain those that respect who you are and what you are doing in Poland?

I'm secretly jealous of British men, Irish too. My name is Woodruff, names don't come much more British than this. I can't stand the fact that I am an American citizen. I have thoughts of renouncing my citizenship and applying for British citizenship all the time. I often wonder if the British courts would honour the fact that my name is English, I hate America, and just give me the f...ing passport based on these facts. If I had the cash, I swear to god, I'd be in England with my lawyer, pleading my case.

Anyway, lets not get into that bitter crap. This blog site is about Poland, And what it's like to be a Carpenter in Poland. Not an English teacher, bank president, doctor, or some silver spoon fed-entire life-family full of cash-bored-so got a cool job in poland, type person. First of all, every third or so Polish man works in construction. If you really want to get to know the real people of this country, ask an American Carpenter working in Poland.

I need to start from the begining 1994, if you understand how I ended up in Poland, you may well have a better understanding in my future blogs as to .......why. But I'll do it later. Much of what I did in those years from '94 to 97' was illegal. So let me have a drink, collect my thoughts, and think about what I want to say, and how I want to say it. This is a strange situation, and I need to check the statute of limitations laws in Poland, and make sure I don't get my arse arrested and or deported first. I'll get back to you on 1994 to 1997, my first visit and job in Poland. Check in on me from time to time and I'll try to keep the information flowing atleast once a week. Also not having any spell check features is bugging the crap out of me. We Americans as perceived as idiots as it is, no need to add fuel to the fire.

2009-01-15

So, I've been reading all the ex-pat blogs in Poland, there are not that many really. I have come to the conclusion that my blog-site sucks. I think what I have to report about Poland is alot more interesting and realistic of life in Poland. However, I just do not know how to properly blog yet. Can't insert pictures, links, all the fancy things that English teachers would know how to do. I am pretty handy with Auto-CAD. And not computer illiterate. In time I'll figure it all out, and make it pretty and fluffy. I'm a carpenter. I did actually attend college, (grade school with ashtrays). How I came to be a carpenter in Poland you will soon learn.So bare with me. Also, I've decided that I'm not going to install or use any spell check features. Fuck spell check. Spell check is the reason I can't spell in the first place. Depending on spell check has turned most people into idiots that can't even spell. In 1982 when I graduated from high school, there was no spell check, and I was just fine.

Ok, it's 1994. I'm a self employed Carpentry Contractor with two employees in Denver, Colorado. We frame houses for General Contractors for around $3.00 per square foot. I pay my guys around $15.00 per hour. I'm damned good at what I do by then. And I'm clearing around $1,200 per week at that time. ( decent money for the time and place). So, I'm reading the help wanted adds one day. I always felt that a clever small business owner should read them as sort of a barometer of the local economy. Plus, my two helpers were bitching about the $15 per hour I pay. I wanted to see if they were full of crap, or if perhaps they were making less than others pay carpentry apprentice types. Anyhow, I come accross this add that reads;  Carpentry Instructors needed in EUROPE, $500 per week, plus apartment,company car, and food allowance.

Now, the money did not really impress me, nor the extras. It was just that when I was younger, I had wanted to join the US Navy. This was the only way I could think of to get out and see the world without money. They would not let me in becuase of a gun shot wound I had incurred in my youth. Now this really pissed me off. I take big piles of lumber and turn them into homes for a living. I'm thin and in shape, always have been. I demonstrated with 100 push-ups in 300 seconds. I wrote letters to congress, all to no avail, rules are rules. So, when I saw the add, I went to interview and of course got the job.

Turns out, this Polish guy named Jan Plesniak bought a piece of land in Wrocław, and decided to build 26 American homes on it. Seemed like a good idea for him at the time, but it ruined his life as you will find out later. So me and these five other men ( I use the term men loosley they are in my opinion five big pussies), are on a plane to Berlin. From Berlin, Jan has a car waiting, and drives us to Wrocław for the culture shock of a life time. The other five (men) didn't last a week. I heard every excuse from "my wife is sick" to "I think I hurt my back". And one guy turns out was not a carpenter at all. Framing a custom home from rough timber takes 2 to 4 years to learn IF you have talent. Faking it is not really an option. But he did get to see Europe for free though. Boy was Jan pissed. So now I have this four bedroom flat all to myself. A few months later it came in quite handy when I met my hot 18 year old girlfriend. I was 28 at the time. And that's not a confession, just bragging.

After the initial shock of it all, I realized that I would really enjoy having this flat all to myself. As I was realizing that most young Poles at that time liked to party like rock stars just like me. So, I convinced Jan, that rather than wasting all that money trying to hire more Carpentry Instructors, just hire 10 strong young Polish men. And I can handle the 26 homes myself. He agreed and I proceeded to have the time of my life in Wrocław, Poland over the next four months.

Then, somewhere along the path, of work, party with my new friends, hashish, screwing my hot 18 year old girlfriend ect.. I realized that Jan had actually snuck me into this country, arranged no visa, work permit, nothing of the sort. I could not even open a bank account. I was stuffing my cash in places all over the apartment. I was sure after I was done with the last house, Jan would have my throat slit, and just take back all the wages.

On about the tenth house, the first home was complete, and I noticed someone had moved in. I noticed that becuase I saw a lady swinging a big bucket of water out the window. The home did not even have sewer hooked up yet. It turns out that Jan had convinced these investors that the city would catch up and hook up the plumbing system really soon. I found out a few years later that he had both swindled the city and the investors. These people had sold thier flats on Jan's word, and were stuck in these buildings with no plumbing for years. He had 26 families sueing him in the end. They ran him out of Poland I heard years later.

I was angry about his illegal activities as far as my employment was concerned. And found a way out or so I thought at the time. A guy came around as many did to see these strange wooden homes. If you know what Poland looks like you know what I mean. I yelled out "SON OF A BITCH!!!" becuase I had hit my finger with a hammer. He walks over and with no accent asks "Your American??" Yes, I said. He goes on to explain that he is John Matlowski from Washington DC. And how would I like to work with him and "SOLIDARNOSĆ" as a Carpentry Instructor when I'm finished with these homes. I said sure and we exchanged numbers ect..

I quit the job with Jan, and took the new job for the "International Masonry Institute" of Washington DC. And these idiots are even bigger fuck ups than Jan Plesniak, as you will learn of in my very next blog.

The International Masonry Institute is really a non-profit organization controlled by the American Brick Layers and Allied Craftsmen. Big, huge, powerful union. Now, they received a $250,000 US-Aid Grant for Poland. They also, to be fair, matched the grant with $250,000 of thier own. (peanuts for them). The money was to be used to inject business into the really hurting economy of Wrocław, Poland of that time. (1996). And to demonstrate and teach the carpenters and brick layers of the Polish union "Solidarnosć" how we get it done in America. Seems like a good idea, right?

Well, I was hired by John Matlawski, (Polish name, not a word of Polish does he speak) to be a Carpentry Instructor. Since I was already in Poland, and learning the language and culture of Wrocław very fast. He titled me Asssistant Project Manager. My job was to help John get the land purchased, hire an Architect to draw us four houses, deal with alot of complex issues, (like those bunch of complete nuts at Solidarnosć). Then, once the building got started, I could start teaching carpentry. I discovered working for Jan, that I really loved doing this.

In, 1989 when Lech and company were in the process of kicking the Russians out of Poland. I was a 22 year old Union Carpentry Apprentice. We would work 32 hours a week, and attend class 8 hours a week. We talked about Solidarnosć all the time. I had the Solidarity flag hanging in my bedroom. I was with Lech to the bitter end at heart, I mean that. But in 1996, in Poland, people were fed up with Lech and his Union. It's sort of like this, "I'm not a communist anymore, so where the fuck is my new BMW??" The country was in crisis, the Russians were gone, and Solidarnosć bore the brunt of all the anger. It did not help much that those in the Union and most involved in the marching and protesting, were given all kinds of positions of government power that they had no idea what to do with. They made an Electrician president of the country for god's sake. Needless to say, the country was like a circus, and most people were wishing for the Berlin wall to be put back up. Atleast they all had jobs, and crime was very low.

Now the biggest problem with this project, was that Mr. Matlawski was a raging drunkard. This guy would start in on the vodka with beer chasers at 1pm sharp and keep going until he passed out seven days a week. After about six months of driving his fat arse around Wrocław, I was fed up. I asked him one day how he could eat and drink so much of tax payer money with his head so far up his arse. And was summarily fired the next week.

On a positive note , I did meet my future wife Izabela during this time period. Not the hot 18 year old I mentioned earlier. An even hotter 24 year old Polish woman with a brain too. We have been married 13 years now. Not always happily, but married till death do us part so to speak. (probably my death first).

 Yes yes,

              American Carpenter in Poland is now ..Sola Carpenter, an American Irish Carpenter in Norway.

My new blog address is stefonin.wordpress.com

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